—–Original Message—–

From: Rodney Williams

Sent: Monday, May 17, 2004 12:26

To: customerservice@costco.com

Subject: RE: Your Broken Promises

It has been about one and a half years since Costco broke its first empty promise, and about one year and three months since the almighty and powerful Costco broke its second barren promise. What am I ranting about you ask? Well way back in July 28,2003 I preordered a copy of Monster’s Inc that came with 2 movie cash certificates to any wholesome Disney theatrical release. After waiting a month for Monster’s Inc to make it into my cozy mailbox I sent an inquisitive and touching email to Costco’s customer service (see attached). I received a response email from Angela D. stating that if I canceled the order I would receive the free movie certificates in the mail. After waiting a long and torturous 3 months, I realized that Costco was not going to send the free movie certificates.

This cold hearted fact, compelled me to send another insistent email asking for righteous retribution. This time Brandee S. responded to my well written email stating that Costco could send 1 of 4 DVDs in the mail. All I had to do was play one potato two potato and pick which one. So I responded with a short, sweet, and sophisticated email stating that I wished to receive Anastasia in the mail. Brandee S. even responded to assure me that the free DVD coupon would be sent to me. Now that we are all up to date let me give you the latest news in our saga.

It has been one year and three months since Brandee S. sent the email to me. However, Brandee’s given birth name would suggest that she was drunk when she sent that email because I have not seen the Anastasia DVD coupon, or the Anastasia DVD. Costco, you don’t like me do you? What have I done to you to deserve such horrid treatment? I am nothing but good and wholesome to you.

My beloved family has Executive Memberships and spends at least 400 hard earned dollars a month at Costco. Do you know what I could do with an extra $400 a month? I could get new shoelaces every week. I could afford to have every flavor of dental floss in existence. I could buy that special iodized Morton’s salt I’ve always wanted. But that means nothing to you does it? The sacrifices I’ve made to give you my money as an offering, and you can’t keep your promises with me?

You remind me of my first girlfriend, she was a tease too. Always promised me what I deserved, but never delivered. Don ‘t be like that Costco, give me what I want and need. The torturous teasing, waiting, and longing, has me at my wits end, I feel like I’m going to explode. This would greatly improve my sanity and could be a breakthrough in my therapy.

All of my therapists say that I should try to be friends with you. I keep telling them that it could never happen, because Costco does not have the capacity to give. But they persist to tell me that my anger, aggression, and anguish will be extinguished if you showed me that you could give me what was promised. Then I could finally have trusting faith in the world again.

Even if you can’t come through on your promises to give me the Anastasia DVD, I will accept any movie from you. Except Barney and the Teletubbies, my kids love them but they frighten and startle me.

Waiting to Get Good News,

Rodney Williams

—–Response Message—–

Dear Rodney,

Thank you for emailing Costco Wholesale.

I am so sorry that you did not get the certificate that we promised you.

We were not aware that you never received it. I will be over night you a $20.00 cash card, as soon as I received it I will email you to tell you that it is on its way. Again I am so sorry that you have not fulfilled your requests.

Sincerely,

Linda G.

customerservice@costco.com